Case studies
Stephen's experience
Stephen is one of 346 Veterans of the Iraq conflict already in our care. His experience illustrates the desperate struggle of many traumatised Veterans to find appropriate support – before reaching the safe haven of Combat Stress.
Stephen, 40 and originally from Yorkshire, enlisted in the Army at the age of 20. After qualifying as a Close Protection Operative with the Royal Military Police, he guarded VIPs and diplomats in Germany, Kosovo, Algeria, Northern Ireland and Afghanistan. But it was in Iraq in March 2003 that his problems began.
As a Sergeant Section Commander, carrying out routing and cordoning in Basra, he was informed that the enemy was approaching and that he should withdraw his soft-top Landrovers and men.
Repeated attempts to radio his Platoon Commander that he was returning to base failed. And despite fears of a ‘blue on blue' (a friendly fire incident) Stephen had no option but to withdraw his men. Stress levels were already running high.
Then an hour after returning safely to base, at about 2.30 am, he heard an explosion and voices calling for personnel with first aid skills: a ‘blue on blue' had occurred between two Challenger tanks.
Trained as a medic as part of his close protection duties, Stephen travelled to the burning Challenger within minutes and managed to treat two survivors. But two crewmen were still missing.
Despite the burning tank and the risk of further explosion, he mounted the vehicle but his boots began to melt instantaneously. He then ran around the outside of the tank – where horror awaited.
Rather than expose his men to the sights he found, Stephen gathered the remains of the dead himself and delivered them to the Field Morgue. He felt that he had treated his former comrades with respect.
Stephen now takes up his story himself.
"When we came back from the Gulf, me and two of the lads booked a holiday in Greece. We were in a nightclub when I got a rush of emotions like a wave crashing over me. I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or beat somebody up. I felt really angry, then really sad...I got out of the club and went back to the hotel room and smashed it up a bit...When my mates returned and asked what happened, I just broke down.
"I went to the medical centre back at base in Germany and said: ‘I think I've got a problem – I'd like to speak to somebody.' A member of the psychiatric team asked me a list of blunt questions: ‘Did I beat my partner up? Was I an alcoholic? Was I suicidal?' I said ‘no'. I was then told time was a great healer, that there was nothing wrong with me, and I was dismissed.
"A year later – 2004 by now – I was still getting really upset. I knew I wasn't the same person as when I went out to Iraq. All I wanted was some help, but I didn't get that. In January 2005, after almost 15 years' service, I left quite disillusioned.
"I registered with a local GP back in England. She asked if there was anything else I wanted to add. I said: ‘yes, I need some help with me head, it's in a mess...I've been in Iraq.' Her exact words to me were: ‘It wasn't your war and you shouldn't have been there.'
"Angry, I got up and walked out the door and never went back. By that stage and after what she said, if I had not got my son relying on me, I wouldn't be here now.
"Then I started a new job for a printing company. And there was one lad who mocked me for my time in the Army. Something inside me snapped and I just wanted to kill him. The shift manager got hold of me and I explained what I'd had to see and do in Iraq – and I broke down.
"The company funded me to see a private counsellor who'd had dealings with the Police and Fire Service following disasters. But I was unique to her. One day she saw some information about Combat Stress in the newspaper and suggested that they might be able to help me that bit more.
"I got in touch and in April 2007 a Welfare Officer came out to see me. It was like a great weight being lifted – that someone was finally listening to me, I was getting someone to understand. The fact that he was ex-Services himself meant he could associate with the things I was saying...You feel very alone because civvies (civilians) just can't really appreciate what's happened – what is going on inside your head...With Combat Stress I have found true proper concern and compassion."
Like so many traumatised Veterans, Stephen is a decent man who was doing a difficult job in circumstances not determined by him, but by the elected government of the day.
He was awarded the Queen's Commendation for Bravery for his actions at the Challenger tank incident in Iraq. But he lost his peace of mind in the process. Surely the very least he now deserves is our collective support.
Stephen still works for his printing company where he is highly thought of.
