Case studies
James's experience
My name is James. I joined the Army in 1987 when I was 17 and decided to make my career in the Royal Artillery. After basic training I was posted to 10 Air Defence Battery, 40 Field Regiment RA in Germany.
In September 1990 I was sent to the Gulf to take part in operation Desert Storm. As a young soldier I was excited and enthusiastic about going and doing the job I'd spent many years training for. And whilst in the Gulf, during the time before the actual ground assault, I completed my promotion course successfully. On my return at the end of the war in 1991 I was promoted to Lance Bombardier.
But when I still was serving in the Gulf, I was involved in a friendly fire situation and found myself on the wrong side of Challenger tanks: it is etched into my memory. There are many other images burned into my mind – the Basra Road and the burning oil fields are a couple to mention.
Shortly after my return from active service, things started to go wrong for me, things I did not understand or comprehend, changes in my behaviour and outlook. At the time I did not realise what was happening to me. By the time realisation kicked in, things had spiralled totally out of control and my love for the Army and myself had disappeared. And so had my career. After a short spell at Colchester MCTC for being AWOL, I finally "regrettably" left the Army in 1993.
After joining civvy street things went from bad to worse. I became very isolated, self-destructive and had lost all belief in myself and my worth. Also I was slowly moving towards criminal behaviour and was losing a battle with drink and drugs. I suffered with bouts of depression and agressive behaviour, both verbal and physical, and I had problems with sleep and night sweats.
In 1994 things came to a head and my behaviour and activities got me sentenced to prison.
Upon my release I tried to re-educate myself and retrain in a real effort to get my life back on track. I sought help from various bodies – clinical, medical and charitable – but to no avail; no one seemed to have the understanding or expertise to help me.
About three and a half years ago I was referred to Combat Stress by the Veterans Agency. At first I was sceptical and uncomfortable about attending Tyrwhitt House [Surrey treatment centre] and sharing my deepest thoughts and fears with strangers. But my fears were unfounded and I was made to feel very welcome and at ease by staff and other Veterans alike.
This was the beginning of a new era in my life, a place of understanding, a place of safety and a place that has enabled me to move forward: in essence, a lifeline that I never thought I'd find.
It has enabled me to understand my condition, has given me an outlet to express myself in a positive way and make progress. While certain symptoms still prevail, I have an understanding of the causes and how to manage them.
Whilst my journey is far from complete, I feel the progress I have made is down to the hard work, expertise, facilities and compassion that Combat Stress has provided me. It is a lifeline that I have come to rely on in my rehabilitation. Knowing that there is now always somewhere to turn brings relief and peace of mind.
I would like to take this opportunity to personally thank all the staff at Combat Stress and Tyrwhitt House for all the help and care over the last two years. I could not have come this far without you all.
